Let it be known, Squaresoft recently realized how poorly they wrote their first draft for FFVII. I have recently stumbled upon their newly revised script, which will most likely be used for a sequel, or something of the sort. Sure Square might deny this script "existing" or "being a true idea", but I feel we all know they are trying to cover this up. I am sure they need a good plot and storyline since I have heard, from my friends and people on the street, that FFVIII sucked, and surely FFIX will too. So now, I reveal to you, in all its greatnissity.......THE NEWLY REVISED FFVII SCRIPT AND STORYLINE!!! (drum roll please.....)
Act 1 Scene 1 Cloud awakens, partly buried in a dumpster near a church somewhere in the Sector 5 slums, and looks around curiously.

Cloud: (In Thought) I wonder where I am? And what's that god-awful smell?

Out of no-where, a young girl (Aeris), with thoughts of selling Cloud flowers, appears in the scene.

Aeris: Excuse me mister, would you like a flower?

Cloud: What? How dare you try to sell me a useless angiosperm you peice-of-crap! If you hadn't noticed, I'm waist deep in waste, and worst of all IT'S NOT MINE!!!

Aeris: I'm sorry sir, I really didn't mean to offend you, It's just that...


Aeris: I don't think I said but....

Cloud: SHUT UP!!! (secretely checks script and notices his mistake) You win this round fat-man......

Aeris: Sir, I'm not overweight, nor am I a male.

Cloud: HA! That's where you lose your little game missy. Sure, I'll take a flower, but I won't like it......no sirree.....

Aeris: Thank-you! For your generousity I shall join your party!

Cloud: What the? What party? Where? Why wasn't I invited?

Aeris: We will travel around the world together. Just you and me. It will be such fun.

(Cloud whips out his cell phone and dials up his buddy Barret)

Cloud: (Whispering) B-Man, I need your help.

Barret: Say what now?

Cloud: Yeah, this chick is digging me, but I don't dig her back. What should I do?

Barret: Well son, there comes a time in every man's life when....

Cloud: (Cuts Barret Off) Dude, I'm not your son. Remember?

Barret: Oh yeah, that's Marlene.

Marlene: I'm your daughter.

Barret: WHATEVER! I've got a freaking machine gun arm, I can't deal with petty details.

Marlene: Ok Daddy.

(Marlene now leaves, just as oddly as she appeared)

Cloud: Listen Aeris, leave.

Aeris: Ok.

(Cloud then turns away from Aeris, yet runs back at her, and sticks her in the stomach with his sword)

Cloud: That got rid of her fast enough......not like last time.....

Barret: Dude, you still there?

Cloud: Oh, yeah, sorry. Meet me outside Midgar at 2:30, I've got a plan.

Barret: Aight.

(Scene disolves and reappears showing Barret and Cloud outside Midgar)

Scene 2

Cloud: Listen, I have a plan to save the world.

Barret: From what?

Cloud: No offense Barret......but from you.

Barret: (In the very high voice of a 9 year old girl) AHHHHHHHH!!!

Cloud: Nah just kidding. Actually, saving it from.....CFCs!!!

Barret: (In cheesy environmentally safe video voice) Yay! Then the ozone layer won't be depleted and everyone will be safe!

Cloud: Damn straight.

Barret: (Still in cheesy voice) Then the world will be a better place for everyone, right Cloud?

Cloud: For most Barret......for most.....

Barret: (Back to normal) What the hell just happened?

Cloud: I'm not sure, but I think we are on a quest to save the world from CFCs or something.

Barret: Aww hell no.

Cloud: My thoughts exactly, but you know me.

Barret: Yeah, so what?

Cloud: I'm just saying, you know me.

Barret: Oh, this makes perfect sense.

Cloud: We shall settle this later, now we must leave to save the world.

Barret: Fine, but I want to be back by 10:00 this time.

Cloud: You with your damn deadlines.....

End of Act 1