Final Fantasy 7 Aftermath

(The scene starts out with Cloud wandering around in the desert. Suddenly, Cid pops up)

Cloud: Whoa Cid, you scared the crap outa me!

Cid: Sorry (puffs on cigarette) dunno what came over me

Cloud: Where are the others?

Cid: I dunno. You wanna do somethin?

Cloud: What?

Cid:Like go see a movie...

Cloud: Let's go to Cosmo Canyon, maybe someone's there

(off to Cosmo Canyon they go, and the whole gang is there)

Cloud: Tifa! Barrett! You guys!!!

Cid: (Offers Barrett a cigarette)

Tifa: Cloud, you gotta try this cheesecake, isn't it a beaut?

Yuffie: Um, pass the cornchips

(cloud looks around puzzled)

Cloud: I've been looking all over for you guys! Where have you been???

Red XIII: Havin a party here...and look who we found lying unconscious in the middle of the desert!

(Sephiroth steps out of the shadows)

Cloud:Sephiroth!!! (draws sword)

Sephiroth: Whoa dude, i don't wanna fight, I'm here for the dip man!

(suddenly, the group is attakce by wild, ferocious beavers!)

Tifa: Ewwwww! I have an utmost disgust for BEAVERS!!!

Cloud: Maybe they're hungry...but don't they eat wood?

(Barret crouches behind a rock)

Barret: Guys, I never smiled because...I HAVE WOODEN TEETH!!!

Tifa: Oh how horid!

(Cloud reaches for his sword, but instead pulls out a very large trout)

Cloud: What the...?

Barret: (frightened out of his mind) Quick quick, slap them around a bit with the trout!

(Suddenly, Aeris appears before them all, and the beavers run away)

Aeris: I have returned we can...

Sephiroth: Why can't you just die! (Goes to draw his sword but it is replaced by an equally large trout.

Sephiroth:Oh well, it'll have to do...(Slaps Aeris around a bit with the trout.)

Cloud: Stop it!

(Cloud and Sephiroth fight with the rout for a while, back and forth, until...)


(Everyone pauses and looks at Yuffie)

Red XIII: Why, your just a side character who bares no purpose in this masquarade whatsoever!

(Vincent appears and turns into a large beast and gobbles Yuffie up, then dissapears as mysteriously as he came)

(Sephiroth and Cloud continue to battle, until Sephiroth holds up his hand)

Sephiroth: OK, you win. But let me tell you first that Aeris was cheating on you all along with Red XIII. Cloud: WHAT!!!

(Cloud beats Aeris to death with the trout)

Cloud: Well, now that that's settled...

Tifa: You hate me, don't you?

Cloud: Whatever gave you that idea?

Tifa: We both know you do!

Cloud: No I don't! That's nonsense! Come on Tifa!

Tifa: I may as well not go on at all, just do away with me too!

Cloud: Well, ok.

(Beats Tifa to death with the large trout)

Barret: Now that all the women are gone, wanna go to Coste De La Sol? Drink some virtual beer?

Group: YEAH!!!

(The group walks off, eating cornchips and cheescake on the way)

The End