Let's go to Cosmo Canyon, maybe someone's there
(off to Cosmo Canyon they go, and the whole gang is there)
Cloud: Tifa! Barrett! You guys!!!
Cid: (Offers Barrett a cigarette)
Tifa: Cloud, you gotta try this cheesecake, isn't it a beaut?
Yuffie: Um, pass the cornchips
(cloud looks around puzzled)
Cloud: I've been looking all over for you guys! Where have you been???
Red XIII: Havin a party here...and look who we found lying unconscious in the middle of the desert!
(Sephiroth steps out of the shadows)
Cloud:Sephiroth!!! (draws sword)
Sephiroth: Whoa dude, i don't wanna fight, I'm here for the dip man!
(suddenly, the group is attakce by wild, ferocious beavers!)
Tifa: Ewwwww! I have an utmost disgust for BEAVERS!!!
Cloud: Maybe they're hungry...but don't they eat wood?
(Barret crouches behind a rock)
Barret: Guys, I never smiled because...I HAVE WOODEN TEETH!!!
Tifa: Oh how horid!
(Cloud reaches for his sword, but instead pulls out a very large trout)
Cloud: What the...?
Barret: (frightened out of his mind) Quick quick, slap them around a bit with the trout!
(Suddenly, Aeris appears before them all, and the beavers run away)
Aeris: I have returned Cloud...now we can...
Sephiroth: Why can't you just die! (Goes to draw his sword but it is replaced by an equally large trout.
Sephiroth:Oh well, it'll have to do...(Slaps Aeris around a bit with the trout.)
Cloud: Stop it!
(Cloud and Sephiroth fight with the rout for a while, back and forth, until...)
(Everyone pauses and looks at Yuffie)
Red XIII: Why, your just a side character who bares no purpose in this masquarade whatsoever!
(Vincent appears and turns into a large beast and gobbles Yuffie up, then dissapears as mysteriously as he came)
(Sephiroth and Cloud continue to battle, until Sephiroth holds up his hand)
Sephiroth: OK, you win. But let me tell you first that Aeris was cheating on you all along with Red XIII.
(Cloud beats Aeris to death with the trout)
Cloud: Well, now that that's settled...
Tifa: You hate me, don't you?
Cloud: Whatever gave you that idea?
Tifa: We both know you do!
Cloud: No I don't! That's nonsense! Come on Tifa!
Tifa: I may as well not go on at all, just do away with me too!
Cloud: Well, ok.
(Beats Tifa to death with the large trout)
Barret: Now that all the women are gone, wanna go to Coste De La Sol? Drink some virtual beer?
(The group walks off, eating cornchips and cheescake on the way)